How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?

1. Golden Retriever:
The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got
our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside
worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

2. Border Collie:
Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's
not up to code.

3. Dachshund:
You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

4. Rottweiler:
Make me.

5. Boxer
Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

6. Lab:
Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the
light bul b! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?
Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

7. German Shepherd:
I'll change it as soon as I've led these people
from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed
any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see
that no one has tried to take advantage of the
situation.

8. Jack Russell Terrier:
I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the
walls and furniture.

9. Old English Sheep Dog:
Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb?

10. Cocker Spaniel:
Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

11. Chihuahua:
Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

12. Pointer:
I see it, there it is, there it is, right there ..

13. Greyhound:
It isn't moving. Who cares?

14. Australian Cattle Dog:
First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

15. Poodle:
I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and
he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the
house, my nails will be dry.

16. Pug:
Zzzzzzz.

The Cat's Answer:
"Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change
light bulbs. So, the real question is: How long
will it be before I can expect some light, some
dinner, and a massage?"

ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS
HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF.

What is a Cat?

1. Cats do what they wa nt.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They're totally unpredictable.
4. When you want to play, they want to be alone.
5. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
6. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
7. They're moody.
8. They leave hair everywhere.

CONCLUSION: They're tiny women in little fur coats.

What is a Dog?

1. Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most
comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
2. They can hear a package of food opening half a
block away, but don't hear you when you're in the same room.
3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
4. They growl when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play, they want to play.
6. Whe n you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They leave their toys everywhere.
8. They do disgusting things with their mouths
and then try to gi! ve you a kiss.
9. They go right for your crotch as soon as they meet you.

CONCLUSION: They're tiny men in little fur coats